The pet store was selling them for five cents a pieace. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.

I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 10:47:56 PM    * *       *

Wearing: Tankini swimsuit with toe ring, blue ragged towel wrapped around my waist and a towel on my head
Listening: Mommy talk about Hamilton's rain ^_^;
Where You At: www.bored.com
Eye Candy: J Lo

Friggin' right, man!! I got the weblink thingamajig working! I can link things! Wheee! :D
My happy links:

1. . d i g i f o x [dot] o r g
2. rocket LOG
3. f l i c k e r e d . n e t
4. Angelina Jolie Obsession
5. CHEESYNESS
6. Tomb Raider Movie
7. End of Aguilera
8. ct.org
9. --
10. Just a Girl

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 3:59:04 PM    * *       *

          *    * *   * Sunday, July 22     * *

Wearing: Black cargo shorts with cream trim and Velcro pockets, tankini swimming top, hair tie, toe ring, and a Band-aid on my foot. ^__^
Listening: "Dammit" - Blink 182
Where You At: Eyeliner Crush
Eye Candy: Angelina Jolie

Jeez, I'm burning up. It's *so* hot and I was just about to go in the pool but I found a kickin' A.J sites ;-; She's so irresistible *_* Like, whoosh. And...it's way too blah-hot in here. I'm going for a swim right now. Who gives about the site: I'll bookmark it. O_O! Dying of heat...buh bye. Hopefully Rae won't log on as soon as I log off. XD That would just be like my life to do that to me. =D

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 8:12:29 PM    * *       *

._. I just wrote half a page of blog-worthy things and then a picture accidentally opened and it erased itself. No worries though :D I'm cool.Yehh, I felt like blogging again ^__^;
After supper, Nancy and her sisters minus Chantale came over and swam. Cindy, Nancy and I created a synchronized swimming routine that is completely corny XD We do gay little splashes and lifts and kicks and handstands =D We're the shit, baby. Anyway:

Wearing: Baggy faded purple Mickey Mouse boxers [shut up, they're different ones] with cheese triangles dancing, floral-on-white-silk-folds underwire bra, black cotton panties too @@;, no scrunchies or jewellry, sleeveless red top with flowers and chibi-Hawaiian couple hula-ing across the chest >D Cute!

I'm ready for bed, but I'm most likely going to blast my fan and get into my eight-year-old-girl's undershirt [I've had it since I was seven ^^;; I never wore it until 13] and undies. It's way too hot for actual PJs. I'm probably doing nothing again tomorrow. Oh well. Hopefully, that new place that's hiring calls me. Because, like, I need a job. Not really but hey. Couldn't hurt. I could use the money. I mailed my resumé two days ago. *bites lip* I can't be expectant or skeptical either. Whatever, I need to sleep.

I'm getting a sore throat and I need to pee. >___<

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 12:06:53 AM    * *       *