Went on Jen's bus after school to go home. From there, we got McDonalds food and watched Lizzie McGuire. Then became the grueling process of getting ready. We applied the BRIGHT BRIGHT blue eyeshadow almost-professionally, then the BRIGHT BRIGHT pink lipstick. I had already put on my dress, shoes (which I kept taking off because they hurt) and anything else I needed. Then, it came. I started doing my hair. I used SO much hairspray and SO much gel, I nearly threw up touching it. I teased it, curled it, flipped it, spoinged it. Anything I could. I put on my boofy headband from the 80s (duh) and waited for Julia to come. We got a bunch of pictures taken. Awesome, awesome. Then we left. There were like 10 people at the door, so I was wondering if that was going to be it for how many people came, roughly. No. But anyway, EVERYONE turned and stared at Julia, Jen and I. The Student Council said I belonged in the 80s. I looked like a Degrassi whore. Seriously.

When we finally got admitted, a bunch of people screamed. Hee. I hadn't even taken off my (long) coat that hid my dress. Oh, but I did. They all laughed and made me turn around (there's a line of bright pink bows down the back) and they screamed again. I couldn't wear my glasses, because it would hide my makeup. So I was half-blind the whole time. Finally, we got into the dance and there was NOBODY there yet. Amazing dance setup though. Julia, Jen and I danced. Shannon and Jared came along and I felt funny because we were all into it and they stared at us :D It was funny though. A bunch of people started coming in, but they stood there, watched or sat on the bleachers. Retards.

Oh man. Ashley, Dave and Shane came and the dance was almost full. It was crazy hot in there, but amazingly thrilling. Ahhh, the 80s bring out the BEST of my friends! Everytime a good loved song came on, people would scream and jump and dance more energetically. Including me. I kept taking off my boots, but I would stupidly put them back on because of my image. Plus, my socks were dorky prep. Anyway, there were so many great songs all in a row so none of us would take a break! Cyndi Lauper came on, and I remember Jared and Shannon laughing at me for knowing all the words...and dancing erratically to them. Muaha. SO MANY RAD SONGS!! It was SO funny when we formed this huge huge circle of people dancing to Safety Dance. Jasmine jumped into the middle as the maypole, and 5 foot Betsy was twirling midgetly around her. Hee! During one of the songs where there was a circle still formed, Ashley got behind me and we danced across it. I can't remember what song. I was 1/4 disappointed, because some of the songs I barely knew. And they never played A Ha. What's with that?

But they did play Tiffany. And OH MY GOSH. Jen and I just stared at each other, then started jumping and screaming. I think the DJ (we were right in front of his booth) told us to shut up. Screw you, cranky DJ! During that song, he handed out CDs and Jen & I both got one. It wasn't 80s music!! It was URBAN music. So I gave it to Betsy. I practically passed out on a front foyer bench with Julia and them. That's when my night turned slightly sour. Shane wanted to dance with me. I had talked to him previously on MSN because I knew Dave was taking him along. I had said I would say hi. Which I never did. I knew what he looked like, and I kinda noticed he kept sneaking glances at me. So Ashley came out and asked to dance with Shane, I said no. Finally, after much begging, I relented but only if I could run to the bathrooms to dry my back with those air hand-dryers. When we got back out, he had already asked someone else.

I was relieved. But later, I felt really bad. I kept ignoring him, and I feel so mean about it. But I didn't WANT him to like me or dance with me. This was supposed to be a friends 80s dance and I didn't feel like dragging boys into it. Heh. So complicated. Basically, I sat out a whole row of dances to hang out with Emma, Josie and some other SC people. I accidentally knocked over the money holder thinger. I felt so horrible. Joel banned me from the rest of the dances :D Half an hour before the dance ended, Julia, Betsy, Justyne, Jen (other Jen) all left. Aww. Jen and I ran back into the dance (Shane and Ashley and Dave had left) to dance for like 20 minutes. Finally, I felt like vomiting (a popular feeling in my stomach throughout the whole night from not taking hardly any breaks) and my feet were about to snap off, I couldn't even walk anymore. I could only slide my feet. We all got mad because RIGHT at the good part of Love Shack, they switched songs.

Ten minutes before the dance ended (there were about fifteen people left at the dance, dancing), we got handed these SPC boxes. I ate a Jolly Rancher and walked into the coat room to get my things. I scared the CRAP out of Emma. She nearly died, and I was laughing at her. So then I waited outside. My parents, in the dark, could only recognize me from my boots and hair. Wow. That's love.

There were some good and bad (more good than bad) points about this dance. After I got out of the car, I could NOT walk. I kept half-falling and I couldn't even support myself. I was like in tears. Gah. And I'm dumb. Because I went STRAIGHT to bed. Barely was awake enough to change my clothes. I didn't wash muy hair out. So I have to, and it's going to be disgusting and sore. We have so many pictures from this dance, I want them all. Gangly Rape Girl sat on the hammock with Julia! We all kinda giggled. I feel really bad about laughing at her (not in a MEAN way) but you know. She's so gangly and creepy-looking.

So, all in all, the dance was amazing. Even though it didn't

Geez! My dad just walked in, shook my body back into the chair and squealed "YOU'RE ALIVE! YOU'RE ALIVE! YOU WERE DEAD TO THE WORLD BEFORE! BUT YOU'RE ALLIIIIIIIIVE!" Creepy, Dad, creepy.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:28:20 AM    * *       *

http://www.janechild.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=Buyable&Category_Code=L

shes gangly rape girl1!!!!

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 12:09:39 AM    * *       *

yes you. you tou ytou uoy uoy uou you you you you uyou uou

ooohhh my loooveee, my darling, i hunger for your touch

JANECHILD ROCKS> SHES SO HARDCORE>

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 12:06:15 AM    * *       *

hahahaha one of the pictures is hilarious i love it. i have freaky eyebrows

FREEEEEEEAAAAKYYYYYYYYY. daaaaaayuuuum. i'm online alone. that uscks so much i cant share my inexplicable sudden hyperactivitiyy with anyone! I HOPE IM AMUSING YOU!!!!!!

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 12:05:09 AM    * *       *

i have this one picture of myself (from pajama day) that i think i look like shannon. i don't know. i'll bring it tomorrow!

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 12:03:19 AM    * *       *

          *    * *   * Thursday, October 31     * *

Tarzan Is An Illeist says:
he sounds pompous, like, oh yea, when people get a piece of the pie, they want the WHOLE pie
my mitten had unprotected mitten sex with jen's says:
hehee
Tarzan Is An Illeist says:
stupid analogy.... but you get it.
my mitten had unprotected mitten sex with jen's says:
everyone wants a hand in his pie!

eww.

my mitten had unprotected mitten sex with jen's says:
i hope he's cute/hot
my mitten had unprotected mitten sex with jen's says:
thats so shallow
Tarzan Is An Illeist says:
of course you do
my mitten had unprotected mitten sex with jen's says:
but he likes RAP so he needs to redeem himself
Tarzan Is An Illeist says:
he really REALLY does

muaha.

my mitten had unprotected mitten sex with jen's says:
it's the creepiness that grows on you

man. late night conversations provide such amusement to me. i'm going to have a bath tomorrow MORNING. aint that freaky.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:59:02 PM    * *       *

Tarzan Is An Illeist says:
DIE BITCH! HE'S MINE!

Julia's last words to me. That hurts. A lot to talk about tonight. Not really :D

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:41:52 PM    * *       *

Well. I was Pandora. I wore a green toga-like sheet and carried around a green velvet box. Ian thought I was Ghandi. Phesh. Halloween tonight. Doing nothing but watching crappy horror classics. I hope Pin's not on. It's been on twice this month and I hate it because I feel this incessant urge to watch it alone everytime. I didn't like today. The CIP trip was okay. Aimée and I have a new song:

Thumbs in the thumb holes!
Fingers all together!
This is is the song we sing in mitten weather!

Best song ever. We felt like tools walking around though. And on the bus we actually carried on a serious conversation:

Aimée - What's in your pocket
Me: A chip bag
Her: Who's bag?
Me: Your bag
Her: My bag?
Me: Your chip bag

Sounds like a Dr. Seuss rhyme. Only lame. When we got back from the CIP thing, I got really upset about some things. They were stupid, but I was being mean again. Only I didn't really vocalize it. I got upset when Mr. Brisbois got "mad" that Ashley and I left the class for like an hour. I don't know why, but it bothered me a lot. Spare was SO boring. So Candice and I tried napping on a bench but that was too uncomfortable. So we walked into the gym, where only 3 people were playing basketball. We laid on the bleachers, looked for money and tried desperately to see behind the stage (where the music class was playing HORRIBLY). Then I got physically hyper, running around with my sheet flapping behind me. I did some dances on the gym floor ala Christina Aguilera then sprawled out all tired like. I was being dumb.

I hate Julia's layout. It's too long and stuff. I liked her pale green one. Or the black one. But I hate this one. No offence. My headphones suck, I want to return them. The music only plays in one ear, but if I shift the cord around to a right spot, it plays in both. So I'm constantly fidgeting, trying to find a comfortable position where the music plays in both earphones. Bleh.

I feel gross. I always do. 80s dance tomorrow. Honestly, I'm really excited about it BUT not right now. I'm not in the mood. It sounds awful, but I feel crappy and dumb. Going to Jen's before the dance tomorrow. We borrowed BRIGHT blue eyeshadow from Betsy, and her mom bought bright pink lipstick. Hee.

Boys online are usually monosyllabic. What's with that?
"yeah"
"ok"
"cya"
"hehe"

TALK! TALK! TALK! My dad called me from his hockey game (somehow) to tell me that it's Halloween tonight, so leave all our lights off. Because kids'll come up and ring on our doorbell. Yeesh. We're so ungenerous. Oh well. Jen told me that some guy on my street was assaulted by his son today/yesterday/this week. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN! I didn't know any of this information!

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 5:12:28 PM    * *       *

          *    * *   * Wednesday, October 30     * *

Screw it all. I have a new costume. Yet:

I'm lending out my scrubs to Emma.
I'm lending out my Velma costume to Betsy.

I'm nice. And my idea's super-original.

I'm so sleepy. So tired. I need to wake up 15 minutes early tomorrow to start on my hair, and pack everything to bring tomorrow. So many things to do. Post-Its are my friends.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:50:56 PM    * *       *

Went Goodwill shopping with Mom and Brad. Bought a simple brown skirt and an orange top. I'd still appreciate Emma & Candice bringing their stuff, because mine's not really correct. She wore red and yellow. I'm wearing brown and orange and black. POOH>

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 8:42:37 PM    * *       *

I'm not feeling mean and crappy anymore. I think my PMS...or just MS has passed. But anyway. Halloween tomorrow. I'm not too excited because, well, I only have the shoes part of my costume. Pooh.
Unless Emma gets online before 8, I'm going to call her to remind her.
I am calling Candice tomorrow at 7:15 a.m. to remind her.
I'll message Jen to tell her to bring the socks.

Blah.

Funny...I don't remember writing any of the above.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 5:09:55 PM    * *       *

          *    * *   * Tuesday, October 29     * *

I'm so angry. It was a stupid prank. It was gay and I hated it. I hate being tricked. But you found it so funny. I repeatedly said I couldn't believe you, that I hated being tricked, but I guess that made it all the more funny. Fine, whatever. I'm in an already horrible mood and this goes on. Seriously. Just back off. I don't feel happy anymore. Not like today. I was ecstatic and now I can't even smile geniunely. When I PMS, I PMS badly. I don't usually get angry with my friends.

And why can't you just shut up and listen? Honestly. Just. Shut. Up. I don't want to hear your stupid meanderings about the pettiest topics. I know that I wonder and wander aloud, but I was trying to listen to her. And you kept going. I thought I was obvious by keeping my head turned half-away from you. Get the hint. I don't want to hear you, I want to hear what the other person is saying. And stop being so pretentious and making me absolutely stupid. You completely demean me, and make me feel like crap. I always feel dumb and silly around you, and I hate that. I hate being around you for that reason. Just because your grades are better than me? Doesn't make you a better person, allowed to degrade me like you do. Oh, it's okay that I make fun of her and push the joking line! She's retarded, she won't notice that I'm insulting her intelligence... I can't stand how you make me feel.

I was talking about 2 different people. The first was stupid - I can't really be that angry anymore, I'm stupid for being mad. The second really steams me though. She's a real person. But out of context, that "you" I'm angry with could be myself as well. I feel like I've ate too much. I feel sluggish and slow and stupid and mean and petty. My stomach hurts really badly, and I want my Dashboard fix. My dad's pissing me off. Acting so self-righteous. It's so stupid. So stupid. I have the pettiest arguments with people. I'm bloated. It's almost like I'm full, but empty. What's wrong with me these days? I can't seem to stablize my emotions. I told my dad to leave me alone when I'm menstruating. Just to say hi, I love you, and stay out of anything. Really, is it THAT hard to ask? He knows what to expect. I'll scream and yell and cry when I get angry with him, so why push it and try and joke around with me? Why would I find that funny? (Last night, a mouse got caught in a trap. He brings it upstairs when I'm watching TV and waggles it into my face. I close my eyes, and I feel something brush against my arm. He later swears it wasn't the mouse. But I screamed and pushed him away, in tears.) Did he think I would laugh because a mouse died? And he pretended to make it touch me? Who would find that funny? I was menstruating, he knew that because I warned him, but that man cannot seem to understand I don't want to see any male.

And Brad has the nerve to say I was faking yesterday. And that menstrual stuff isn't that bad. Oh, I don't think so. I was short of ripping his head off, but I blew a fuse yelling at him. I should be locked up for the week that I'm cycling. I talk too much about it, according to people. Why should I care? I want people to know why I'm so mean and rude and incredibly bratty. I hate when guys say PMS is just an excuse. I used to think it was too, but now I understand the full effect. And this week, everyone's making fun of me in the way that I cannot construe it as possibly funny. I try to be serious, and they laugh in my face. So I start yelling and they get angry at me for it. I'm in tears now? Because I'm frustrated with my family.

Lord, help me through this week. I don't want to be this way anymore. My stomach really hurts. Thank you everyone for their contribution to my Velma costume. 80s contest tomorrow. I'm winning.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 10:39:07 PM    * *       *

im more calm now but if i even think about the dance im going to piss my pants

OH JOHNNY ARE YOU QUEER BOY.

man, the cosby show was supposed to be on yesterday! but 3rd rock was on instead! i was so angry, i threw down the remote (onto the couch)!! that's how mad i was. it TOLD me that the cos was on. and i love him. and it was supposed to be the episode where he stops vanessa and rudy from fighting. that's a good one too. i like the dream one with olivia and rudy. also, where vanessa has a band called the lipsticks and they sing the locomotion. and the one where they make a prom for claire because she missed hers. aww. claire was such a whore though, they made so many babies! and the kids kept moving back in. that house was a black hole. rudy's friend was funny. the one that's now on sister sister as tia's boyfriend. or was it tamera's. SISTER SISTER! i miss that show. i'm glad the family channel has been airing boy meets world. i love that show to death. seriousl;y. to death. TO DEATH IN MY GRAVE.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 4:54:45 PM    * *       *

Listening to my 80s mp3 list. Whee. It makes me excited. Because tomorrow at lunch, I get to tease my hair and wear (another) 80s outfit to promote the dance on Friday. I'll dance around the ticket table in the lobby with Ashley, Christina and Julia. Of course, not just them. Because every other girl gets in on it. The dance will be awesome! Rad! Wicked! Tubular! Bodacious!

I think Jasmine has an orange turtleneck. I'm borrowing a kilt-ish skirt from Candice. Kristina has orange socks. Betsy has black Mary Jane shoes. YAY! I'm Velma, the ugly one. I'm carrying around a magnifying glass, and saying "JINXIES!" People will hate me. MAN I WANNA DANCE!!!!

its just another manic monday, wooah, i wish it was sunday, wooah, that's my fun day! wooah, my i-dont-hafta-run day, it's just another manic monday
the long road is looooong, with many a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiinding turns...
don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no!
thank you very much, oh mr roboto, for doin' the job that NOBODY wants to!
everybody have fun tonight! everybody wang chung tonight..!
oh i! i just died in your arms tonight....it must've been something you said, i just died in your arms tonight
you're a strange animal! that's what i know! you're a strange animal! i've got to follow!
the phone rings in the middle of the night, my father yells WHATCHA GONNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE! oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one...!
i'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm!
just beat it, beat it, beat it, no one wants to be defeated! show 'em how funky and strong is your fight!
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES! AND EVERY NOW AND THEN I FALL APART! AND I NEED NOW YOU TONIGHT AND I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER AND IF ONLY YOU'LL HOLD ME TIGHT!

IOIgfodgosghosgfd thats only 1/4 of the songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 whehehehheheheheheheh geez i need some retaliabn or oaohnhahahahahhahaa
TURN AROUND AND EVEYRH NDHOW HO BOY WANNTED ME TO BE THE WAY THAT I AM

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 4:25:55 PM    * *       *

          *    * *   * Monday, October 28     * *

more ovaltine, please!

and steph: we're coming on sunday! i need one more check with my parents and those who are coming, to clarify the plans but yup! we're probably leaving early sunday morning for toronto, and then leaving toronto sometime around supper, if that's okay

my teeth hurt and i NEED to listen to dashboard right now. funny...i only listen to the first ten songs.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:42:43 PM    * *       *

I hate when people log off just as you're asking them something.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 7:28:52 PM    * *       *

So. Anyway. I'm Velma from Scooby Doo for Halloween instead. Geez, I'm unstable about my ideas. Anybody that sees my daily:

If you own an orange turtleneck/sweater/shirt, red skirt, orange socks or size 6 1/2 - 7 black shoes TELL ME! Heh.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 7:26:21 PM    * *       *

I ate birthday cake at Christina's. It was good birthday cake.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:17:17 AM    * *       *

For Halloween:
Ashley, Christina & I are going to be the Pink Ladies

I'm Jan, the fat hungry one. How ironic.
Ashley's Rizzo, the slutty sassy one.
Christina's Marty, the boyfriendy maraschino one.

I love it. That means ANOTHER trip to Goodwill. For a long plaid skirt, bobby socks and some suitable shirt. Wow,.it felt like my head was caving in. But anyway, I don't know HOW we're getting the silk pink jackets.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:16:31 AM    * *       *

Probably going to see Steph this weekend. Parents will drive. Three people can come along. I'll email you all with the details, about the date and times and stuff. But my parents WILL drive, but it depends on the times etc. And Shannon, Steph wants us to come down. You're not inviting yourself. *I* invited myself down to her, but I don't care what she thinks because we finally need to talk out loud to each other! Hee. I'm obnoxious.

Well, I stayed home today. I was SUPPOSED to --eww, my dog just gagged really loudly-- go to school with my mom, with a pit stop at Wal-Mart to pick up emergency pads. But this morning, I nearly died. I was moaning, my stomach felt like an upset sea, and I fell asleep in the oddest position on my bed. So she ordered me to get to bed. And I listened to my Dashboard CD sleeping. Then, I woke up around 10 to see her telling me she's leaving to town with my dad. I think I fell asleep for about thirty or so minutes. Woke up to howling. I was very perplexed. It was Taboo, my dog. I have NEVER hurt her yowl. Growl, yip, yelp, bark. But never howl. She missed my parents. I comforted her, but it was no use. She's still waiting for them to come home. Imagine if I wasn't home.

I hate menstrual cycles. I think I post that everytime it comes around, but this one is the worst since school started. I haven't had cramps, but everything else sucks and I hate it. I eat a lot when I'm on it, and I've already (in the span of thirty minutes) ate a turkey sandwich, cheese crackers and salt&vinegar chips. And I WALKED SO MUCH YESTERDAY. Yuuuuugh. Why must I be such a pig all the time? I always say I'm fat. I know I'm not. But I think that I am. My bottom is so big and I hate that. People always make fun of it, and I know it's teasing but I'd rather have a non-teasable bum. And my stomach. Seriously, I'm a big whiner because I know people are obese or whatever and actually have something to complain about, but I hate my stomach. It's so flabby and gross to me. I can make rolls out of it. It makes me sick.

If Betsy's reading this today, I still have Gangly Rape Girl's picture. It's on my bedside table or somewhere.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 11:07:28 AM    * *       *

          *    * *   * Sunday, October 27     * *

Since I'm lazy and my feet still hurt and this orange juice isn't helping (I don't know how this all factors into my main point), I'm only writing in jot notes:

- Pilgrimage from 8:30 to 2:30
- Feet hurt
- Stranded at the blue swinging bridge in the cold rain
- Driven home by Christina in her Pizza Pizza truck
- Listened to Dashboard a lot
- Picked up Ashley
- Hardly did work
- Drove around to McDonalds
- Asked teenager (MIKE) at Roger's what that one character from Grease's name is (her name was Marty)
- Talked about everyone/everything for nearly three hours
- "FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEE!!" (Thomas)
- how Thomas is my boyfriend, when I've never met this guy before, but I'm his girlfriend though

...they told me that he'd probably go out with me if i was there that one night. but i don't care....yes i do. would jc be better? steph THINKS SO! sex legs.


*   You're so silly, Nanny! 10:26:22 PM    * *       *