both emma and steph expressed their wish not to go to prom. i want to. except i really like steph's idea. i love the sims, it's so addicting. once, i got really poor (this is before i knew the rich cheats) and i lost my house and my "girl" peed herself, had no friends, and cried a lot because of it. hilarious.

i want christmas to come so badly. i used to be all about the gifts and stuff, as usual. but that was when my parents could buy me three gifts but it didn't matter because we had large family christmas' so three out of twenty gifts didn't matter really. does that make sense? anyway. it's different now, because we're opening our direct family presents alone this year. so i notice how many i get. that sounds selfish, but all i asked for, and all i expect is a belly button ring that i'm picking out with my mom soon. i've been spending money like crazy, and money's tight right now. so i'm making my gifts. and my prom is going to be super budgeted but i like it that way. anyway, i love christmas.

i love christmas because i come into the house after school, and the candles are lit. and the tree is bright and nice. and there's fake branches along the tv cabinet, which SOUNDS crappy but looks lovely. and my mom has the same christmas music tape playing over every year. i know every song off-by-heart and relish in it. i love christmas, visiting the one family. my aunt and uncle's. with their kids, aaron & rebecca & josh. i get along with aaron more than any other cousin there. just because we're so alike, but we never fight. i confide in him when i'm complaining. we talk about music, computers, movies together. he's just so cool, i think he's 15. rebecca and josh are great cousins too, but josh is quiet and rebecca gets on my nerves a whole lot because we hang out too much. i love christmas there. we play monopoly and risk, open gifts together, drink gallons of eggnog. eat shrimp. watch home movies galore. go sledding on carosee hill, where it's slick ice all the way down. aaron and i once thought josh was unconscious because he fell off the sled, off the track. and just laid there still until we ran over. stupid bugger, hee. and we videotape EVERYTHING. they have footage of me singing ricky martin while doing the dishes. SHUT UP. it was like two years ago, and they snuck up on me. i'm running away now. we videotaped, from about eight different angles, aaron sledding down an off-track side of the hill, which wasn't icy. good for sledding though. and my CRAZY (he's probably going to be diagnosed with insanity sooner or later, much to nobody's surprise, hehe) uncle will make dumb answering machine messages and insist on watch "trauma: ER" alot. ohh! i really need to watch the old grinch who stole christmas, and the old true rudolph movie. man, that abdominable snowman part scared me when i was little because he was just...scary? hehe. he's so not even.

my cousins hate when i come down only because i play the sims. a lot. i don't have it on our computer, so i'm rolling in the sim-ness when i go down. i guess i shouldn't play it while i'm down, since we're only going to be there for three days. pooh. screw thinking i look retarded, i always sacrifice having fun by thinking i'm looking stupid. WELL NOT THIS YEAR! i'm going to wear my stripey winter hat with the pom-pom, wear my mittens, and fluffy boonchy coat from awhile ago. and my genuine bright blue & brown 60s scarf. woo. christmas'll be amazing this year.

oh. it'll be my last while i'm still in high school. that's sad.

josh, aaron, brad and scott ARE STAYING IN A HOTEL FOR ALL THREE DAYS!!! UGH!@&# makes me so jealous! they'll be leaving the actual house around 11, and coming back in the morning. but still. they get the heated pool. and man, our families LOVE hotels. it's not like we steal everything we can (well...yeah...we do, i stole the doorhandle and notepad and pen and brochures last time) but the kids love them like mad. we love how you can run sockfoot around on the carpets softly, and you can try and hear your neighbours talking, and OH YM GOSH! i just remembvered the last time my aunt, rebecca, aaron, josh, brad and i stayed in a hotel. it was in cornwall. aaron, rebecca and i walked out onto the street and started videotaping a "horror movie." it was HILARIOUS. we found this woman sleeping in her car!! it was so bizarre, she scared me because i was walking by the car and didn't notice her at first. then rebecca was taping aaron pretending to have that woman chasing him, and he ran into a phonebooth, dialing 911. but really, you can see later what he was dialing: 567433 35677 hjehee. what an emergency number. anyway, so he was "dialing" saying "she" was chasing him, when i snuck up on him and screamed. i swear, it wasn't "scripted" so he jumped a mile and shrieked like a little girl. i nearly pissed my pants.

so you see why i love christmas and my cousins.

*   You're so silly, Nanny! 9:48:13 PM    * *       *

sorry about that. i cant seem to get rid of it! :P i hate you sometimes, blogger. you are a fair-weather friend, i say.

i had a dream about pin.

i am so scared. that dream freaked me out. it was like i was playing out a movie part. i was in the car with steph (not you, steph), mary and i think someone else. pin was chasing us with somebody. we were driving on the highway, and he ran up beside the car and grabbed the girl beside me, her hand. the OTHER girl beside me grabbed the other girl's legs to save her. pin wouldn't have that, so i started kicking his groin. nothing. then he had her and we kept driving. we were switching lanes, then stopped on a deserted road for a second, thinking pin in HIS car would drive by. we decided that was a bad idea, so we got back on the main road. it was like midnight. we kept driving, then we were suddenly in a mall. somehow, britney spears was there. then i woke up. at nine. bleh.


*   You're so silly, Nanny! 9:39:15 AM    * *       *

i had a dream about *   You're so silly, Nanny! 9:33:46 AM    * *       *