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* * * * Sunday, July 13 * *
waterfront was fun
chantal was cool
redhead guy = drool
lady dancing = AMAZING
anyway
i found that i cannot be in a place with teenybopper girls for such a period of time that i want to stab them in the face. i hate teenybopper girls.
julia was clearly too tall for their liking; "uh, can you slouch or something?"
shut up ugly 13-year old girls.
and also, i don't need to hear your whiny voice singing EVERY chantale kreviazuk song RIGHT IN MY EAR instead of actually hearing the singer i paid ten bucks to see
yeah so shut up
i hate you all
i think im really a 75-year old woman trapped in a girl's body.
oh, creepy rapey drunk "i want to see you naked" guy staring at julia - ewww!
i love the foo fighter's video "learn to fly"
when the pilot (dave grohl) mouths 'thank you', i crack up everytime
liam "boob-brush" isn't so hot on his website
however, his piano-harmonica-guitar-vocal ness made him cute.
CUTE. not hot. unless his sexy dad - a mix between, yes, patrick stewart and ian mckellen as pointed out by julia. good call.
um yeah.
i shall go read.
i work 11-4 'today'
haha, waterfront was so my social outing quotient for the month :D
i am so anti-social but so is everyone else
* You're so silly, Nanny! 1:41:08 AM * * *
* * * * Saturday, July 12 * *
Worked another 9-4 shift today
Went by okay
got really bad abdominal issues at work but i lied and said i was fine
stocked candles for an hour and a half
came home.
read for about an hour
went to mcd's, then to see terminator 3
with emma, jen, and coincedentally, marc b
he's funny
i didnt want any popcorn! :|
anyway
the movie was blah
oh, arnold.
tight leather-pansted arnold
oh, nick stahl, you're so sexy yet such a forgettable actor. except you're sexy so i can't really forget you.
also, claire danes wasn't completely horrible, heh. i almost cried at one part.
well, two parts.
yeah.
then i came home
and watched the dvd of "how to lose a guy in ten days"
meh.
im getting a sore throat
bummer dude.
i believe i will go take some echninachea, brush my teeth then read my newly-founded christian zine and then finish reading a very good book i just bought.
yay for new books
i work 11-4 tomorrow
YAY.
waterfront, here we come.
i guesS? haha
sore throat - weh.
i think im beginning to smell
* You're so silly, Nanny! 2:22:41 AM * * *
* * * * Thursday, July 10 * *
I worked 9-4 today
The shift went by fast and fairly simple
So I didn't complain
Well, I did. But I didn't need to.
Feels like it's going to rain.
My dad and I, in the car ride home, had a whole conversation about
Peter Scolari.
He's awesome in "Bosom Buddies" and now, "The Bob Newhart Show"
Oh, classic TV, how I love you.
"The Amazing Race" is on tonight. Yay.
My head hurts.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 5:56:51 PM * * *
* * * * Wednesday, July 9 * *
Watched Big Brother 4 tonight.
Hm.
Um,
I need to pee.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 10:46:42 PM * * *
My blog's finally back to normal. Yaaay.
On a side note, I had a emotional and physical breakdown today.
Yaaay.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 6:51:53 PM * * *
WHAT THE
* You're so silly, Nanny! 3:59:26 PM * * *
i just have nothing to say.
its a bad day.
already.
my elbows have been itchy lately.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 1:07:27 PM * * *
ted's joy.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 1:43:51 AM * * *
sxwhbnygggggggtvnujm
the keys on the keyboard feel relaxing and oddly nice under my forehead
hbngygvbftyh
bye.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 1:39:03 AM * * *
watched "what lies beneath" (for, like, the fifth time now) with my cousins and family
talking to anthony.
i hate making my bed!
you know. i feel really bad about that woman today. i really do. it's not funny - her grandson didn't realize what was happening. it's really kind of sad.
my eyes feel burnt.
my eyes feel like they've been held underwater in a chloriney pool
going to the mall tomorrow
this new underwear i bought doesnt' fit me at all
it sucks and i hate walmart for it
i dont feel good
the spaghetti i ate today was...good at the time
not now.
i feel like vomiting
all over myself.
i have to make a drivers appt
yaaaawn...
im wearing a boob shirt
its all wham! with my cleavage'
yeah.
blarf went my stomach.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 12:57:39 AM * * *
* * * * Tuesday, July 8 * *
i am only calmed down because i had a nap and ate some yummy wafer bars
otherwise, i still hate her.
adam mercer is in my pool - i am quite frightened.
people in my pool right now (excluding me because i am anti-social): adam, cindy t, nancy t, scott, brad, josh, rebecca
me? no.
plus i have super duper hairy legs
i left a happy brief message on shannon's machine - but really? all i want to do is yell about ms trash with her.
so maybe i shouldn't have been so bright and hyper.
today i drove into town, and back home.
it was SO weird and disturbing. i was sitting in the car, waiting for an HOUR for my mom who was inside the bank. this lady with her 5-year old grandson were walking down the sidewalk, and then out of the corner of my eye, i see her FALL. she's pretty old, maybe 50-ish. i watch for a bit, curiously disturbed at this point. her grandson is all giggly at her fall, and she straightens herself out. nobody goes over to her (i don't think people noticed). then, she stands up, and walks SMACK (and i mean smack) into the broadside of a huge blue van. she falls down AGAIN. sits on the side of the sidewalk, holding her grandson's hand. a lady comes out of the store and asks if she's okay, right when i got my hand on the door handle to ask the same question. i guess the woman said she was fine and then they walked away. either she was seriously like...heatstroke, or drunk or SOMETHING. but that just doesn't happen. weird.
my nap was like longer than an hour. hm.
i fell asleep reading a wedding magazine..
hey i just remembered my latest dream (SEE? A LOT!)
..
all of uis, and i mean all of us, were in some fancy place
something about an awards show? aisles? anyway
this hotel place.
and we're all walking up these narrow stairs when i look back and josie passes out against the banister.
her legs go like WIDE OPEN haha so im like "JOSIE!" and close them for her. jen slaps her face
but nothing happens. all of a sudden, steph and emma are like BLAMMO! on josie
i get pushed out of the way
and steph is like talking some foreign language to josie.
it was so weird.
yeah.
go steph!
* You're so silly, Nanny! 2:10:37 PM * * *
i hate ms trash
76.
A SEVENTY SIX>
i got 80+ on every assignment after my midterm.
EVERY ASSIGNMENT>
i want to strangle her little bird throat
i swear im going to scream
i cried in the school
you have no idea how mch this burns me
I HATE THIS>
WHAT BROUGHT DOWN MY MARK.
and nobody seems to udnerstand how mad i am
i feel like she screwed me so completely over
* You're so silly, Nanny! 11:50:39 AM * * *
i had a dream last night where my dad was a mix between patrick stewart and ian mckellen. brad and i went to a hockey game and split off. but we were suppsoed to meet my "dad" at 4:89 (apparently that's an hour and a minute, for all you guys out there). however, some time got confusing, tra la la. and we were "late" but we weren't even. anyway, my "dad" got really angry and made us kneel before a fire and ask for forgiveness. then he told us about how he went on aaron (my cousin's)'s computer and there was a computer game where you get this "demon son" and he was so disappointed. then, all these moms with kids came over and were like "hey! that's a good idea!" (kneeling, forgiveness).
then i was outside in the schooo parking lot and gemma was talking to these two little asian boys. they were trying to fly a kite so gemma offered to do it. she got it so high and they were screaming, laughing and giggling and it was adorable. oh, gemma, so good to kids.
before these two dreams, i think i had one about a barbeque, pool, sausages and bah's house. shut up. i don't know either. regardless, i remember his parents thinking i liked him. blargh.
off to school for my report card.! i don't know if we'll meet steph - might be too early. hmmm dilly dally is a cool word.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 9:01:56 AM * * *
* * * * Monday, July 7 * *
my stomach hurts
my mouth feels rough
i went to work for 9
i work at 1
i felt like crying.
my dad's all bitchy.
definite rawk show attendance tonight for me.
i almost fell asleep in the truck today on the way back home
i want a response, a big one in comment or email or IM form, from steph.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 10:42:49 AM * * *
for steph (for this, you OWE ME):
When I'm around him, I get nervous. Not bad-nervous. Just antsy. I feel like my hands are lumps of wood, and I'm always embarrassed of them. For him, I want better nails - it makes me want to stop biting them. I find myself admiring him everytime I talk to him, and I notice things about him. He makes me feel nervously comfortable. I can joke a lot more. I've tried telling myself to stop, but it's utterly useless. You know, in Harlequins and movies, when guys physically hold the girl in a way that's so powerful and so sexy to them. And they're always defenseless, and no matter how hard they struggle, the guys' grip becomes tighter and after awhile, they just accept it. I'm in the girls' position emotionally. Except the hold is...one-sided. He's got a grip on me that he doesn't even realize. When I see him, it's thrilling. It feels like a mix between a school-girl crush and a woman seeing the man she loves after twenty years. I am happy for him. I'm happy that he's in a relationship (although I've heard it's an unhealthy one) and that he loves her or whatever. I am glad that he's found someone. I can't be mad at him. I just can't.
I feel like...this may pass. But somehow I don't want it to. or something. I like liking him. Maybe it's my own personal torture. I can't release from his grip just yet, and I feel like the harder I pull, the more I want to just let myself fall back. I've tried. It's not like I'm obsessed with the guy - I don't think about him everyday. He's slipping from my mind because I haven't heard his voice, seen him, been jokingly punched in the shoulder by him. My hair hasn't been pulled from behind in almost a month. Do I miss that? Yes. I'll probably always miss it. He was a good friend. I like him a friend. It's like our friendship is separate from my other, stronger feelings for him. I can like him a friend just fine. I can like him as more just fine.
The date. I don't remember it as clearly as I would like to. It was a nice first date. My first ever date with anyone, and it was clean and friendly. Friendly. I guess that's all it will/was/would be. But I don't blame anyone. I know he feels badly about "leading me on." I knew that it was nothing more than friends the minute I sat in the theatre seat. But I didn't care. I like(d) just being there as his friend. We connected. We always have. There was no awkward silences; nobody was awkward. A nice date. My first. Our last. I don;t really mind.
It feels like...you can't convince someone you're right for them. I've never tried. But maybe the fact that our personalities are so alike makes us better friends than...lovers? I hate that word. You know what I mean.
thats all i can think of at the moment. off to bed.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 12:41:19 AM * * *
for steph:
giant brass hanging lamp!
bird!
john cusack!
background!
snowball fight!
* You're so silly, Nanny! 12:05:22 AM * * *
* * * * Sunday, July 6 * *
hello mcfly says:
well i dont really know but ass
hello mcfly says:
HAHA i SO MEANT TO WRITE AWWW
Ursula says:
HAHAHAHA
oh man.
* You're so silly, Nanny! 9:23:31 PM * * *
work was ok.
9-6 tomorrow
rawk show? eh.
just watched "maid in manhattan"
it was ok.
i love ralph fiennes, he so sexy.
we also rented "national security"
hm.
cousins are here.
had a balloon/water fight today after work.
refreshing/
my mom picked 34 quarts of strawberries.
yowza.
my hair is being huge today.
and by huge, i mean HUGE.
went drivign for a bit today.
i am jealous of ursula/!
* You're so silly, Nanny! 9:15:00 PM * * *
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